Where Do We Go From Here
by shipslashlab
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are college roommates. Blaine is straight and Kurt is unsure of a lot of things.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt turned back to his laptop as soon as he heard a noise at the door. He had become consumed in thought and didn't want Blaine to see him just sitting there as he came into the room. He brought up his browser, clicked open Facebook, and pretended to be interested in the lives of the people on the screen. Blaine set his bags down and began to put his stuff away without saying a word or acknowledging that Kurt was even in the room. Kurt couldn't decide if the tension in the room was real or imagined. They hadn't seen each other in three weeks after they left to go home for Christmas break. Before that the two of them had been good friends so far. They would often go to campus events together and sometimes Kurt would even join Blaine and his friends when they went to the campus bars. Kurt always thought he got lucky in the roommate department because they got along so well, especially after he had heard so many horror stories.

Blaine paused what he was doing and finally broke the silence. "So, how was your break?"

Kurt's immediately became filled with nerves as he turned around quickly to answer, "It was alright. Just the usual, you know, with all the craziness of the holidays and family time."

Blaine looked down at his hands and nodded as he listened to Kurt only looking back up once the room went silent again. "Yea, yea.. I know how that goes. So, I think a group of guys and I are going to go out to Marty's tonight. Wanna come along?"

Kurt sat up a little but, but tried not to seem too surprised. "Yea, that sounds fine. I don't have anything else to do tonight anyway."

Blaine smiled and responded, "Awesome. I think we'll head out around 11 or so. We'll just walk over to the bar to meet the guys." Blaine went back to putting his clothes away and Kurt turned back to his computer as he tried to put together all the thoughts in his head.

_Does he not remember? He has to remember. He did have a lot to drink... He was the one who initiated everything so maybe he's embarrassed or something. I am too, I guess. If he doesn't remember then we can just go on and pretend like it never happened. Things don't have to be awkward. What am I even doing? Blaine is straight and so- well I don't know what I am now. Shit. Does he really not remember?_

As the day turned to night everything seemed to be back to normal. They talked back and forth a little bit and went through their regular routines of getting ready for a night out. As much as he tried Kurt couldn't help noticing how attractive Blaine looked in his outfit. He made sure to be subtle and only take quick looks when Blaine had his back turned. This wasn't the first time Kurt found himself attracted to another man, but it was the first time he wanted desperately for something to happen- again. His love life had been pretty non-existent throughout high school as well as his first semester of college, but he was always okay with that. Nobody seemed to pique his interest anyway. Although, now he seemed to be interested in Blaine. It was strange and exciting, but Kurt didn't know what to do with these new feelings. He did know that a relationship with a straight boy only meant heartbreak.

As they walked the few blocks to their normal bar Kurt and Blaine made small talk about the details of their Christmas Break and their schedule for the upcoming spring semester. It wasn't long before they were showing their fake IDs at the door and heading to the back of the bar to be greeted by a group of guys playing pool and drinking beer. Kurt knew that Blaine's friends weren't the normal type that would associate with him. He didn't really think they were Blaine's type of friends either. They reminded him of Karofsky and the other jocks who used to bully him in high school, even though these guys were always nice to Kurt. There was no harm in meeting different people though, after all, that's what the college experience is all about.

"Blaine, I'm going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?" Kurt felt like he was shouting at the top of his lungs as he tried to talk over the noise of the bar.

Blaine stopped in between greetings to shout back, "Oh yea, that would be great! Can you get me a beer? The next round will be on me." Kurt nodded his head and walked off to the bar.

When he got back Blaine was already engrossed in the game of pool and trying to show off his skills. Kurt handed him the beer and went to sit down off to the side so he was out of the way. He watched Blaine as he interacted with the people around him and was brought back to the night before they left for break.

Everybody had decided to go out to celebrate the completion of their first semester of college. It wasn't quite different than any other night before, but Blaine took the celebration a little too seriously. He drank more than he normally did, which was probably fueled by his recent break up. The relationship ended by mutual agreement and they were still on good terms, but it was obvious to Kurt that Blaine was still upset about it even if he wouldn't admit it.

The night ended with Kurt practically carrying Blaine back to their dorm room as he listened to Blaine mumble, "You're such a great friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're great. Just.. really.. amazing... Kurt." If Kurt hadn't been so concerned about getting back to the dorm without being caught by campus police, he probably would have taken more time to enjoy the moment and laugh at Blaine's drunken pronunciation.

Kurt got Blaine to his bed as soon as they got back to the room. He took off Blaine's shoes and grabbed a blanket to tuck him in, but as Kurt pulled the blanket up over Blaine's chest he reached up and pulled Kurt to his lips. Kurt was so taken aback it took him a second to even process what was going on. Once he realized he quickly pulled away, "Blaine! What are you doing?"

He didn't seem bothered as he reached for Kurt again. "What? I just wanted to kiss you. You have nice lips."

"Yea, okay", Kurt responded as he turned around to change into an old t shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "I'm going to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"No, please. I don't want to be alone. Come lay next to me."

Kurt didn't answer, but Blaine was determined, "Please Kurt. I'm sad. Can I at least have a hug?"

Kurt was tempted to ignore him, but he couldn't. He finally gave in, grabbed his pillow, and laid next to Blaine as best he could in the small twin size bed. Blaine turned over to face him and Kurt put his arms around him. It didn't take long before Blaine closed the space between them with a kiss. This time Kurt didn't pull away. As their kisses grew in passion their hands began to wander over each others bodies and Blaine's clothes quickly came off. Kurt wanted Blaine and he could feel how much Blaine wanted him back. It took all the effort in his body to finally push him away. "Blaine. We can't. As much as I want to, I don't want to take advantage of you like this. You're drunk. It's not right."

Blaine wrapped his arms around him and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. Kurt was surprised that Blaine didn't fight back. "Ok. Please don't leave me though."

"I won't."

The next morning Kurt woke up to find himself alone in Blaine's bed, with no sign of Blaine anywhere. The memories of the night before flooded back and Kurt felt so much embarrassment and confusion. He grabbed his phone to check the time when he noticed a text message from Blaine.

_Sorry I got so drunk last night. Thanks for getting me home ok. I left to go home for break this morning. See you in three weeks. Have a good one._

Suddenly Kurt was jolted from his daydream by Blaine standing in front of him trying to find the perfect angle for his shot. _He has to remember or at least wonder why he woke up naked in his bed with me lying next to him. That doesn't just happen._

After a couple games and several beers, Blaine decided to sit next to Kurt and let the rest of the guys continue playing. Kurt noticed that as Blaine drank more alcohol he became more touchy, which was something new. Blaine was definitely the "I love you guys" kind of drunk and was never shy of giving the other guys hugs, but Kurt was pretty sure Blaine had never been this friendly before, with the exception of that one night. Kurt let his mind wander to the possibility of more touching when they got back to their room, but quickly pushed the thoughts out with reminders of Blaine's sexuality. It didn't take long before the ultimate reminder of Blaine's sexuality- his ex-girlfriend - walked in.

Blaine immediately made eye contact with her and waved her over to join them. Kurt smiled at her as they exchanged familiarities and she sat down in Blaine's lap giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She had obviously been drinking and wasn't shy about showing Blaine affection. Kurt kept a smile on his face, but inside he felt a pit growing in his stomach and he became filled with jealousy. He knew he couldn't sit there and watch the two of them flirt for the rest of the night so he quickly excused himself. He tried to make his exit as cool and calm as possible, but when he heard Blaine knocking at the bathroom door he realized that he had been unsuccessful.

"Kurt? Are you in there? Are you okay?" His voice sounded rushed and concerned.

"Yea.. I'm fine. Just, you know, the beer and everything. I should just go back to the room. I don't want to ruin your night." Kurt tried to keep his composure the best he could.

Seconds later he felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket. It was from Blaine. _Does this have anything to do with what happened before break?_

Kurt stood frozen. _He remembers._

When Kurt didn't respond Blaine quietly asked, "Kurt, let me in. Please."

Kurt opened the door to let him in and they stood there for a second as Kurt tried not to make eye contact.

Blaine fumbled through words and Kurt wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol or the awkwardness of the situation. "Kurt, I'm sorry. I thought.. I thought that it would be best to pretend it never happened. I didn't think it meant anything to you and you know, I've never been with a guy before. It was just a mistake. I drank too much and I was lonely. I-"

Kurt stopped him before he could say anymore. "I know. It's fine. You don't have to apologize or anything. I just want to go home though. I'm really not feeling well." His feelings were crushed, but he didn't want Blaine to see that. He wanted to go home and forget that anything had happened between them. He wanted to forget that he even thought for a second it could happen again.

"Fine, yea. I should go home too. We can walk together." Blaine opened the door and followed Kurt out of the bar and the rest of the way home.

The second Kurt walked in the room he grabbed a change of clothes and headed back out so he could hide in the lounge area until Blaine went to sleep. He was so embarrassed and confused and disappointed. It was a mixture of feelings that Kurt had never felt all at once before.

After 30 minutes of flipping through magazines to try to calm his active mind, Kurt decided to go back to his room for the night. He figured Blaine would be asleep by now especially considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Kurt opened the door to find that he was wrong. It was dark except for the lights beaming from their laptops. Blaine was still awake and sitting on the edge of his bed. He was hunched over with his head in his hands. When he noticed Kurt came back in he jumped up.

"Kurt, can we talk maybe? I know I said it already, but I'm sorry. I know I must have hurt you. I'm so confused right now." Blaine sounded nervous.

"You don't have to apologize. I told you. We can forget it ever happened if that's what you want."

Blaine stood in front of Kurt, holding eye contact with him. "I don't know if I do want to forget." Blaine pulled Kurt closer and kissed him. Kurt's stomach filled with butterflies. _This isn't happening. Is this happening? I must be dreaming. He tastes like beer. What am I doing? I can't have these feelings_

As much as he didn't want to, Kurt pushed Blaine away. "I can't do this again. You're drunk. I won't let you mess with my emotions. I can't kiss you. I can't sleep with you and wake up to find that you've conveniently forgotten anything happened."

"But I don't want to do that either. What happened before break was just a cumulation of feelings that I've had for you from the very beginning. I just- I just have never felt this way about a guy. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I know what to do with girls, but with you... It's different. Fuck. I've completely ruined everything haven't I?"

Kurt watched as Blaine sat back down on his bed. He wasn't ready for a confession like that. It took him completely by surprise and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to scoop Blaine into his arms and kiss his lips one more time, but there were so many doubts. He is still drunk after all. _I don't want to play games. I don't want to have to go through more awkward moments because he pretends to forget._ _Oh, fuck it!_

Kurt grabbed Blaine by the hands and pulled him back up and into Kurt's bed. The twin size bed forced them to be practically on top of each other, but it wasn't the first time. Kurt took Blaine's face in his hands and kissed him again, this time with more passion, slipping his tongue inside his mouth. It was just as good as the first time, but Kurt couldn't help but wonder what Blaine tasted like when he hadn't been drinking.

Their kisses were filled with passion and desire and Blaine moved his hands to explore Kurt's body. Blaine was about to slide his hand under Kurt's pants when Kurt put his hand down to stop him. "Kurt- I want you. I want you so bad. You don't know how many times I've thought about what happened between us."

"I can't. Not like this. If you want me then you can have me when you're sober. I want you to remember and I want you to know for sure this is what you want." He gave Blaine one more kiss and wrapped his arms around him. Blaine didn't bother to protest as he rested his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt figured that Blaine would make his way into his own bed by morning, but at least he could enjoy another night with him.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Kurt woke up to find that he was wrong. Blaine was tucked in next to him with his head resting on Kurt's chest. Kurt suddenly understood why Blaine left the last time they ended up in bed together. Kurt wanted to leave too. It seemed easier than actually talking about it. Besides, what would they say? As much as Kurt wanted to run and hide, he couldn't help but admire how adorable and peaceful Blaine looked while he was sleeping. He suppressed his desire to flee and decided to just enjoy the moment. A few minutes later Blaine finally moved to look up at Kurt. "Hey."

Kurt responded with a similar, "Hello."

Kurt wasn't sure what else to say or do and he couldn't figure out what Blaine was thinking. Blaine's words came easier after they had been drinking, but did he really mean them?

Blaine took a second to sit up and rub his eyes. "Oh man, I didn't think I drank that much."

"You drank enough, apparently." Kurt sat up against the headboard of his bed.

Blaine got up and headed out the door. "Yea... Ugh, I have to go to the bathroom."

Kurt just sat in his bed wondering if he would have woken up by himself had Blaine woke up first. _What the fuck am I doing? I know better. I'm only setting myself up for heartbreak and disappointment. He says he doesn't want to pretend. What bullshit. Actions speak louder than words right?_

After a few minutes, Blaine returned and went back to his side of the room without saying anything. They sat in silence until finally Kurt couldn't handle it anymore.

"Are you doing this again? I know it's awkward. It's awkward for me even, but you could at least acknowledge the fact that we slept in the same bed!"

Blaine turned to face Kurt. It was the first time that Kurt saw any emotion in his face. He looked concerned and almost scared.

"I- I don't know what to say. I meant what I said last night. I promise. I just- Where do we go from here?"

"Blaine, I don't know either! I didn't expect any of this to happen. You keep talking like it's all about you, but i'm included in this now. You included me the night you kissed me! You could at least care about my feelings. You could acknowledge that I exist. You could acknowledge that something happened between us." Kurt was surprised by the words that came out of his mouth. He wasn't going to hold back and let Blaine control everything. He wasn't going to be a toy that Blaine could play with only when it was convenient for him. Kurt brought his hands up to run his fingers through his hair. He was trying to keep himself together and not fall apart in front of his roommate.

Blaine took a second to process everything that happened and finally got up to sit facing Kurt. He grabbed Kurt's hands and stared into his eyes even though Kurt was fighting eye contact. "I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. I'm an asshole. Shit. Kurt-" Blaine sighed, taking Kurt's face in his hands as he reached up to kiss him.

Kurt felt his stomach do a flip. This was their first sober kiss. It was so sweet and soft. Completely different from their drunken kisses, which are usually full of passion and kind of sloppy.

Blaine pulled back, smiling shyly at Kurt. _Is this flirting? _Kurt responded, "You're right. You are an asshole." With that Kurt pushed him back to lay him flat on the bed, crawling on top of him to straddle his hips. Kurt wasn't sure where this was all coming from. He had never been so aggressive, but he knew in that moment that he wanted Blaine more than anything.

Kurt was laughing and Blaine was looking up at him, smiling as he ran his hands over Kurt's chest. Finally, Kurt grabbed his wandering hands and pushed them down, interlocking their fingers. Kurt brought himself closer to Blaine, rubbing their hips together as he began to kiss him. Kurt could feel Blaine getting hard through his sweatpants. It surprised him at first, that he could do that to someone, but he enjoyed the feeling of control.

Kurt finally let go of Blaine's hands and he quickly slid them under his shirt, putting them back against Kurt's chest. Blaine pulled back enough from their kiss to moan, "I want you to touch me." Kurt smiled against his lips. "Are you sure?"

Blaine couldn't find the energy for words so he just shook his head yes. Kurt had never touched another guy before, but figured it wouldn't be that much different from the times he had touched himself. He moved his hands down and slid them underneath Blaine's sweatpants, but not underneath the boxer briefs. He still liked the idea of being in control and teasing Blaine until he couldn't handle it anymore. The moment Kurt's hand made contact through the underwear, Blaine's threw his head back and moaned, not thinking about the paper thin dorm walls.

Kurt enjoyed this. Really enjoyed this. He teased Blaine some more until finally sliding his hand under his underwear, making contact with his skin. Blaine inched his hips up against Kurt's hand when they heard a knock at the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt froze before climbing off of Blaine to answer the door. Blaine hurried over to his side of the room, grabbing a pillow to hide the bulge in his pants. Kurt opened the door to find Blaine's ex girlfriend standing in front of him. _Worst timing ever._

"Hi.. Is Blaine here?"

"Uh, yea.. yea.. he is." Kurt could barely move out of the way fast enough before she welcomed herself into the room.

"Oh thank god! I was worried about you. You left last night without saying anything and then you didn't answer my texts this morning." She sat down in front of Blaine and brushed a piece of his curly hair away from his forehead. Kurt felt a pang of jealousy as he sat down on the bed he had just shared with her ex-boyfriend.

Blaine seemed shy and a little awkward. It was as if he suddenly woke up from a dream and needed time to adjust to reality. "I'm fine, just hungover really. Sorry, what's up? Why did you come all the way over just to check on me?"

"I was worried about you, silly! Can you blame me? Anyway, I was thinking we could go get lunch. I haven't seen you in three weeks." Blaine glanced over at Kurt with a look that said _I'm sorry._ It didn't go unnoticed by Jessica and she turned around to offer the same invitation to Kurt. "You can come too, of course!"

"Thanks, but I think I'll just stay here."

"Lame! Well, what do you say Blaine? We can go to your favorite spot in the union."

"Uhh, sure, but can I shower first? I still smell like beer from last night."

"Of course! I'm not in a big hurry or anything. I'll just hang out with Kurt for a while."

Blaine got up, no longer needing the pillow, and headed off to the showers. That left Kurt and Jessica alone together, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but Kurt could think of someone else he'd rather be alone with. It wasn't that he had a problem with Jessica. They got along reasonably well, but she was just a little too overbearing for him at times.

After a few minutes of some awkward small talk about classes and professors she finally blurted out, "So, can I tell you a secret?" Kurt was surprised. _I thought I was the one with the secret. _"Sure, go ahead."

"I think I screwed things up when I broke things off with Blaine before break. I mean, I know the break up was kind of mutual, but the time away from him made me realize that- well, I think I'm in love with him." Kurt didn't respond so she continued. "Do you know if he's interested in anyone? Do I still have a shot?"

"Um, well Blaine and I didn't really talk over break much, but as far as I know he's not really interested in any girls right now." _That's not really lying, right? _He really wasn't quite sure what else to say.

"Oh good. That makes me happy because I have some big plans for tonight! My roommates and I are having a party and I think I'm going to take the opportunity to patch things up with Blaine. You should come! I could introduce you to some friends of mine."

"I don't know. I'll think about it. Classes start tomorrow so I probably shouldn't start out the semester hungover." As soon as the words left his mouth Blaine returned to the room, fully dressed, and ready to go. Kurt was thankful that the conversation was over, but it also meant that Blaine was off to go spend the day with his ex girlfriend, who may soon be his girlfriend one again. He didn't even have Blaine, but he was terrified he was going to lose him.

Before they walked out of the room, she grabbed Blaine's arm, and turned to Kurt. "Let me know if you change your mind. I'm sure Blaine would like it if you came with."

Kurt faked a smile and threw himself back on the bed. He couldn't get the image of Jessica and Blaine out of his head. He couldn't imagine going to that party, but he also couldn't imagine staying home either. _I need to talk to him. I need to know how he feels. I felt something between us, but what if he gets scared and runs back to his girlfriend because she's safe?_ He picked up his phone in time to feel the vibration of a new text message.

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 12:48pm - I'm sorry. I thought it would be suspicious if I turned her down. We will talk later. I promise._

Kurt sighed and dropped his phone on the bed. He needed to do something that would keep his mind off of thoughts of Blaine and Jessica together.

Kurt had watched at least two movies in his Netflix queue. He was hoping that Blaine would have returned to the room before going to the party, but it didn't seem that way. His head filled with thoughts of Jessica declaring her love and the two of them escaping back to her place to rekindle their romance. It made him sick to his stomach. He finally gave in and decided to text Blaine about the party.

Blaine responded quickly, which gave Kurt hope.

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 6:13pm - Yea, I'm going to the party. I'm actually at Jessica's right now. I figured I would help her get things together. Are you coming?_

Kurt wasn't sure what he wanted to do. if he went to the party he'd have to see Jessica and Blaine together and who knows what that would mean. Whether they were holding hands or making out on the couch, he just didn't want to see it. Then again, if he stayed home he would be stuck with his thoughts, which could be even worse than reality. There was really no right choice. He decided to just ask Blaine instead. If he wanted him there then he would go. If not, then he would stay at home.

_Sent 6:25pm - I don't know. Should I?_

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 6:27pm - Its up to you really, but I would like you here. I'm not going to drink very much, if that makes you feel better._

Their hook-ups had always been fueled by alcohol, but that was the reason why Kurt had stopped them before it went too far. He didn't want Blaine to think that he was taking advantage of him because he was drunk. He also didn't want Blaine to use alcohol as an excuse. Kurt had never had sex with a boy before, not that he was that much more experienced with women either, but if he was going to have sex with Blaine he didn't want to be drunk.

_Sent 6:34pm - Ok, fine. I'll come. What time is everyone coming? Do I need to bring anything?_

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 6:40pm - Jessica said she told everyone 9:00, but you can come anytime really. Just bring yourself. I'm glad you decided to come. Text me when you get here._

Two more hours before the party meant at least one more movie from his queue. Kurt didn't want to show up too early.

Kurt arrived at the party around 9:45. He tried to wait longer, but couldn't do it. When he walked in he immediately saw Blaine in the corner of the room talking to a group of people. Blaine was always a magnet for other people. There was something charismatic and charming about him. He was just a nice, decent guy, which seemed to be rare on college campuses. Kurt made his way over to Blaine, ignoring the instructions to text him. Blaine was mid-conversation when he looked up and made eye contact with Kurt. He held it for a few seconds and smiled at him before finishing his sentence and getting up to give Kurt a hug hello. Blaine was a hugger. He always hugged people hello and goodbye so it wasn't awkward, but Kurt didn't want to let go. He could smell Blaine's cologne mixed with his shampoo and body wash and maybe there was a little bit of beer mixed in as well. Kurt needed them to be close again.

As they broke apart Blaine introduced Kurt to everyone and Kurt waved hello, immediately forgetting everyone's names. Before Kurt could ask about Jessica's absence, she came around the corner from another room, grabbing Blaine around the waist and pulling him close. Pulling him away from Kurt.

"Kurt! I'm so glad you finally showed up. You have to come with me. I'll get you a drink and then I'll have to introduce you to my friend, Lisa. I've been telling her about you all night. I think you'll love her."

Jessica grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him towards the kitchen before he could say a word. Kurt looked back at Blaine, but he just smiled and rolled his eyes. _She's trying to pass me off on some girl and he doesn't care. He's not even jealous? _It broke his heart a little bit, but he tried to push it out of his mind. He could just be reading into things too much.

"Alright, well we have some beer, various kinds of liquor for shots or mixed drinks, and some jungle juice in the fridge. Pick your poison." Jessica had obviously been drinking for a while. Her ability to be over-bearing seemed to double once she consumed alcohol. Kurt really didn't care about a drink. He wanted to be back with Blaine.

Kurt opened the fridge to pull out a beer. "Um, I think I'll just stick with beer. I don't want to get too sloppy."

Jessica laughed, "too late for me! Now, come on, Lisa is out by the porch. She has been dying to meet you." Kurt followed her reluctantly, hoping that he could just say his hellos and get back to the main room with Blaine.

"Ok so Lisa, this is Kurt. Kurt, Lisa. Now tell me this is love at first sight!", Jessica screamed as they made it to the room filled with Lisa and what must have been her group of friends. Kurt and Lisa said their hellos and awkwardly laughed off Jessica's horrible introduction. Lisa seemed nice. Not as overbearing as Jessica, that was for sure. Kurt wasn't really interested in anyone but Blaine at the moment so he was sure this wasn't love at first sight. She seemed like someone he could call a friend though.

Jessica thankfully disappeared and Lisa offered him a seat next to her. Kurt didn't have an escape plan mapped out, but he figured if he drank his beer fast enough that would give him a good reason to leave the room. Unfortunately, he actually enjoyed talking with Lisa and her group of friends. They were funny and they all had interesting stories that didn't involve the latest gossip of who has had sex with whom. Kurt never seemed to run out of beer either because every time someone got up they'd bring back more for everyone else.

Kurt didn't even realize he was drunk until he tried to stand up. He mumbled something about going into the other room and Lisa agreed, grabbing his hand. The only problem was that going into the other room meant something different for her. When they got into the bedroom she pulled Kurt over to the bed for him to sit down. Kurt was oblivious until Lisa climbed on top of him and began kissing him, trying to get him to open his mouth to let her in. It took a second for everything to click together, but once it did he pushed her off.

"Lisa, I'm sorry. I- I- I'm sorry if I led you on or something, but I can't do this." He was surprised by how sober he became all of a sudden.

The smile that had been on her face all night, suddenly disappeared as she sat next to Kurt. She seemed hurt and Kurt felt awful.

"It's not you. Really. You're wonderful. I would love to be your friend."

Lisa sighed, "Yea, thats what they all say. I'm a great friend. Maybe even good enough to fuck once, but nothing more."

Kurt stood up, preparing himself for what he was about to say. Preparing himself for the truth. "No. No. Don't say that. Lisa.. I'm gay. Or, well I think I am. I'm pretty sure I am. I have feelings for someone that I've never had before. It has nothing to do with you. Honestly."

The feelings of rejection seemed to leave her face as she looked up at Kurt and asked, "Is it Blaine?"

"Um. What? No. No. Not Blaine. Why would you ask that?", Kurt stammered. He liked Lisa, but she was still Jessica's friend and she didn't want to betray Blaine by telling anyone.

"Because it's so obvious Blaine is gay! He was only with Jessica because he was trying to be straight. The whole reason she broke it off with him was because he hooked up with some guy at a party."

Kurt had to sit back down. He was trying to find the right words, but he didn't know what to say.

Lisa continued, "Jessica was really upset about it. She was the one who caught them even. When she confronted him, he confessed that he had been with guys before, but that was apparently the first time since they had been together. I guess there was this guy from high school, but Blaine couldn't accept being gay. I think a big part of it has to do with his dad. I mean it's hard being a republican bigot when your son is a fag, you know?"

"But, if Jessica knows he's gay then why is she trying to get back together with him?"

"I guess she went to Blaine's father after they broke up and he told her to get him back and make him straight. She thinks she can do it. I told her she shouldn't waste her time. Why be with someone who doesn't want you? Listen, Kurt, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I won't tell Jessica. She wouldn't even listen to me if I tried. You're a good kid. Just don't get yourself wrapped into this mess too much. Hooking up with a straight boy is one thing, but falling in love with a closet case like Blaine only sets you up for heartbreak."

Lisa got up and kissed Kurt on the forehead before leaving the room. Kurt sat on the bed trying to process everything that had just happened. He didn't know what to do, but he needed to find Blaine.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt stumbled into the main room, but Blaine and Jessica were nowhere to be found. He pulled out his phone to check for messages, none. _1:13am. What was I doing for three hours?_

_Sent 1:14am - Where are you?_

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 1:17am - Why do you care?_

That was not the reaction that Kurt expected, but he was too drunk to think too much into it.

_Sent 1:18am - Of course I care. Are you still at the house at least?_

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 1:20am - No, I left._

Kurt was relieved that Blaine had left. That meant he most likely wasn't with Jessica anymore and Kurt could go back to his room where Blaine would hopefully be waiting for him. The only downside was that he had to make the walk back to the dorm. He shoved his phone in his pocket and walked out onto the sidewalk. A few minutes later he felt the vibration of a new message.

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 1:24am - You'd know that already if you weren't busy making out with Lisa._

_Shit. How does he know? We weren't in there very long. Is he jealous? He's jealous!_

The walk home felt like it took forever, but at least it gave him the time to sober up. When he walked into the room he found Blaine laying in dark silence. Kurt went over to his desk and flipped on the lamp. Blaine shifted, eventually sitting up to face him.

"So...it looked like you and Lisa hit it off."

"Are you jealous, Blaine?", Kurt asked as he sat down on his bed, facing the other side of the room.

Blaine scoffed, running his fingers through his hair as he looked away. A movement Kurt noticed whenever Blaine was nervous or unsure of himself. "No. Definitely not jealous."

Kurt didn't say a word, but he didn't need to because he gave Blaine a look that made it clear he knew that Blaine was lying.

"Fine. Okay, maybe I am jealous a bit. But... I don't know. I thought coming to the party meant you were coming for me. I even told you I wasn't going to drink much and I didn't. I wanted to come back here with you. ...But then you went off with Jessica and just ditched me. When I went to find you I saw you go into the room with Lisa, so I left.." Blaine's voice trailed off and Kurt could tell that he was hurt. It caught him off guard.

"Blaine, nothing happened. I mean, we did go in the room and she kissed me, but I stopped her. Lisa is a cool girl, but I'm not interested in her. I told her that." Kurt stopped to take a breath as he got up to sit next to Blaine. "I told her that I'm interested in someone else." Kurt went to hold his hand, but Blaine immediately stood up to face Kurt.

"You didn't say anything about me, did you? Please tell me you didn't-"

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand, pulling him back towards the bed. "Relax. I didn't tell her. If you want this to be a secret, then its safe with me. I wouldn't do that to you. But, that being said, I don't think I needed to say anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Lisa and Jessica are friends. Apparently Jessica has told her everything and when I told Lisa that I was gay and interested in someone else, she just assumed it was you. She had a lot to say actually."

Blaine sank back on the bed and pushed himself up against the wall, bringing his knees to his chest. Blaine was immediately withdrawn. "I don't even want to think about what she said to you. Can we talk about this tomorrow or something? I think I just need to go to bed."

Kurt didn't say anything more. He got up and headed to his side of the room so he could change his clothes, switch off the lamp, and climb into his own bed. He laid there for a few minutes in the uncomfortable silence, thinking about the events of the night and the newfound revelations about the boy he'd been living with for the past five months. He was about to drift off to sleep when he felt the weight of another body laying down next to him. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled him close.

"I promise I will tell you everything tomorrow. I'm sorry if I was short with you." Blaine placed a kiss on Kurt's neck and a shiver went throughout his body. Kurt turned around to face Blaine, pulling him closer in the process. Kurt still had unanswered questions, but he figured he would save them for later. He ignored Lisa's warning and decided to trust Blaine and hope for the best. He might get hurt, but thats the chance you take right? Besides, Kurt couldn't go back down.

Kurt brought his hand up to touch Blaine's face, cupping his cheek as he leaned in and placed a kiss on Blaine's lips. It was just like the kiss they had shared earlier that day when Blaine was trying to comfort Kurt, soft and sweet.

••••

Kurt woke up to the sound of the alarm on his phone. Blaine was still wrapped about Kurt and he was sleeping soundly. Kurt immediately reached for his phone to stop the incessant beeping. 8:30am _Shit._

"Blaine! Blaine! When is your first class?", he exclaimed as he tried to move him.

Blaine shifted a bit, but he was still snuggled up against Kurt. "Nine, or something."

"Well, it's 8:30 now. You're going to be late."

Blaine immediately jumped up. "Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit. I have to go all the way across campus." He quickly switched out of his clothes and grabbed his bag. "I'll text you. Let me know if you have a break. Maybe we can have lunch? Dinner? I don't know. I have to go." He ran out the door, but as soon as it shut behind him, he came back inside.

Kurt was confused. "Did you forget something?"

Blaine walked over, leaning down to give Kurt a long, lingering kiss before responding,"Yes. Text me!" He was out the door as soon as he was the first time, leaving Kurt completely at a loss for words.

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 12:55pm - What time are you done with your classes?_

_Sent 12:57pm - I'll be done at 3 and back at the room by 3:30. Sorry, we couldn't do lunch._

_New Message From: Blaine Anderson_

_Received 12:59pm - Its ok. I have something better planned. I'll be done by 5:30. Meet me for dinner at Lincoln?_

_Sent 1:00pm - Sounds good See you then._

Kurt and Blaine had just finished their mediocre dining hall dinner and Kurt was curious. "You said you had something planned? I know Lincoln has pretty decent food compared to the other dining halls, but I don't know if it's anything special."

Blaine laughed and got up from the table, "No, this is definitely not special. Just follow me. It's nothing that big. I just wanted to go for a walk with you."

"A walk? Blaine. It's January and it's barely 40 degrees outside!" Kurt reluctantly followed as they made their way in the direction of the campus pond.

"So? You have a jacket. Besides, if you get too cold, I'll warm you up." Blaine looked over and smiled sweetly at Kurt, which made his knees go weak.

"I'm okay with that, but why do you want to go for a walk?"

"Well I promised I would tell you everything didn't I? It's easier for me to talk when I'm walking around instead of sitting in one spot. Besides, this is my favorite place on campus and I wanted to share it with you. Have you ever been over here before?"

"No, I haven't actually, but I like new experiences." Kurt smiled at Blaine, hoping he gave him the same weak in the knees feeling.

Blaine quickly shifted the conversation. "I don't know what Lisa told you, but just ignore it. I want you to hear everything from me. Ok? I promise I'm not lying. I want to be completely honest with you."

"Okay."

Blaine looked down as he walked along the path, he took a deep breath, and starting with his story.

"Alright, when I was in high school I was with a boy named Luke. I was completely in love with him and I actually thought we were going to be together forever. Looking back now, I was so naive, but who isn't when it comes to their first love?"

Kurt nodded and Blaine continued. "Anyway, a month before graduation we decided to tell our parents. We planned to tell them on the same night, but Luke didn't do it. He was too afraid, but I still went through with it. My dad was livid. I really think that if it weren't for my mom he would have kicked me out. When I tried to get in contact with Luke he ignored me completely. Three years together and that was it. The last time I saw him was the day we graduated from high school." Blaine's voice cracked a bit, making it clear that it was still a sensitive subject for him. Kurt wanted to reach out to touch Blaine, give him a hug or something, but he didn't. Just continued to listen.

"I think he's somewhere in Texas now. Anyway, I told my dad I made it all up, which seemed to help, but I don't know. I don't think he believed me. I figured that if I wasn't with Luke anymore, I could at least try to be straight. But then I met you. You're nothing like him, by the way. I think thats why I like you so much. You're just different in the best possible way. You make me feel better just by being in the room with me."

"Wow. _Blaine_."

"I didn't think you were gay though. I was determined to be straight so when I met Jessica, I knew I had the chance to prove it to myself. I tried really hard to be straight, but I just couldn't. I could fake it, but I wasn't happy. One night she dragged me to a party and I ended up hooking up with some random guy. She walked in on us too. It was awful. I felt like the worst person in the world. That was when I realized that what I was doing wasn't just hurting me, but it was hurting other people too. I broke up with her soon after and then you happened."

"And then I happened?"

"Yea, I'm sorry, by the way, for leaving so soon after, but I didn't know what to do and running seemed to be the best option at the time. I wanted to talk to you a million times over break, but things got crazy at home. I didn't want to tell my dad that Jessica and I were over, but he found out anyway when he called to invite her over for the holidays. He wasn't very happy... I couldn't stop thinking about you though."

There was that smile again. And the weak knees. Butterflies too. Kurt had to pull himself together. He wasn't sure whether he should share Jessica's secret. He didn't want Blaine to take it the wrong way, but he wanted to know if Jessica had made her move yet.

"So, has Jessica confessed her love to you yet?"

"Ugh, yes. She did last night. She was so drunk I could barely understand what she was saying. That's when I left to find you actually. I explained to her that I was done with the straight thing. I'm not a closet case. I've known for a long time that I'm gay and I don't have a problem with it either. I just don't want to lose my family, but I'm starting to think I don't have a choice in the matter anymore."

The trail had come full-circle and the boys were back to the beginning. Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm to stop him, and pulled him in close for a hug.

"Blaine."

"Yes?"

"I need you to warm me up now."


	5. Chapter 5

The door slammed shut behind Kurt, making a loud noise that resonated throughout the hallway. They both let out an awkward laugh.

"Sorry, sometimes I get a little ahead of myself. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Blaine seemed truly concerned.

Kurt smiled and shook his head, "No, no. I'm fine", as he rested his arms on Blaine's shoulders and leaned back against the door forcing Blaine to move with him. Kurt put his head down to meet Blaine's lips as Blaine moved his hands up to remove Kurt's shirt. They broke apart as the fabric slipped over his head and Blaine shifted his attention on placing kisses along Kurt's neck as he reached down to begin working on his belt buckle.

Kurt rested his head against the door, enjoying every kiss. "You move fast."

"I can't help it. Besides, we've already been this far, right?" Blaine pushed Kurt's pants to the floor, leaving him standing in only his tight boxer briefs. Kurt blushed, feeling a little uncomfortable and vulnerable even though there wasn't very much lighting in the room. He grabbed Blaine's shirt, pulling it quickly over his head to expose the lean muscles underneath before tugging on his pants so they were both in their underwear.

Kurt walked him backwards to his bed and pushed him down so he was sitting on the edge. Kurt climbed on top to straddle Blaine's lap as he leaned down to kiss him once again. These were the same passionate kisses they had shared during their drunken hook ups. Only this time Blaine didn't taste like beer, which was a nice change. The way that Kurt positioned himself over Blaine allowed him to feel just how hard he was underneath the boxer briefs, which excited Kurt even more.

Kurt loved the little moans that escaped as they kissed and he loved it even more that he was the one responsible for them. Kurt didn't feel like an inexperienced virgin when he was with Blaine. He felt comfortable and safe. There was something about Blaine that made Kurt trust him from the very beginning.

Kurt decided that he had teased Blaine for too long and finally reached down to touch him through his underwear. As soon as he made contact, Blaine gasped, "Fuck. Kurt. You tease me so much." Kurt smiled and gave in, sliding his hand under the fabric.

Kurt was enjoying every minute, but he was ready for more. "So where do you keep the condoms and lube?" The request threw Blaine off guard.

"Are you sure?"

Kurt stared deep into Blaine's eyes to reassure him, "Yes. I am completely sure. I want you."

Blaine pulled Kurt in for a kiss, then answered, "Top drawer, next to my bed."

While Kurt went to search for the necessary items he suddenly felt a pang of nervousness. He had no idea what to expect. Pain? Pleasure? Both? And even worse, what if he's horrible at this? Kurt tried his best to put the thoughts out of his mind as he returned to a now completely naked Blaine. Kurt handed everything to Blaine as he shimmied off his underwear, exposing himself completely.

Blaine laid down on his side, making room for Kurt to lay down next to him. As Kurt moved in closer he said, "I'm kinda new at this whole thing so you have to promise to be gentle."

Blaine rested a hand on the side of Kurt's face so he couldn't look away. "I promise. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

The words had barely escaped Blaine's lips before Kurt pulled Blaine tight to kiss him, pushing Blaine's mouth open so he could kiss him deeper. Blaine glided his hand along Kurt's body, feeling the goosebumps that formed each time he hit a sensitive spot. When Blaine finally got to Kurt's waist, he pulled back so he could put some lube on his fingers.

Blaine could sense that Kurt was beginning to tense up. "Just relax and breathe. If it hurts too much, tell me." Kurt nodded, "Mmmhmm."

It was different than anything Kurt had ever felt before. The lube was cold at first, but it quickly warmed up. It wasn't exactly painful either, just different. Kurt let out a moan as Blaine went deeper. That definitely felt good. Once Kurt got used to the feeling, Blaine slid another finger inside. Blaine was good with his hands.

Kurt couldn't handle anymore. "Just fuck me."

Blaine didn't hesitate as he pulled out his fingers, leaving Kurt feeling empty. Blaine slid the condom over his erection and added some more lube. He moved Kurt's legs so they rested on Blaine's shoulders and slowly pushed against Kurt. Kurt's hand tightened around Blaine's arm as the pressure became almost too much. Blaine was completely inside Kurt when he stopped. "Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "Yes, its good. Good."

Blaine leaned down to kiss Kurt as he began thrusting, slowly at first until he found a rhythm that seemed to bring Kurt the most pleasure. The feeling of Blaine inside him was better than he ever thought it could be with Kurt wanting more every time Blaine hit his prostate. Kurt tried to last as long as possible so he could enjoy the closeness he felt with Blaine, but he couldn't hold back any more. Blaine quickly followed, collapsing next to Kurt.

Kurt was breathing heavily and he could barely move. "Wow! I don't know how to talk."

Blaine laughed and moved closer so he could snuggle closer to him. "That good, huh?"


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine was awake when Kurt came back in the room. He had turned on the lamp and was sitting up against the pillows, messing with something on his phone. As soon as he saw Kurt walk in, he looked up and smiled. "Aww, you put your clothes back on."

Kurt laughed, "Of course! Some of the other guys on this floor may not care who sees what, but I don't show my goods to just anyone."

"Oh I see, well I guess that means I'm pretty special then." Blaine put down his phone and watched as Kurt went to the mini-fridge to grab a bottle of water before returning to sit next to him.

Kurt smiled and gave him a kiss. "I guess you could say that."

Blaine's phone lit up and Kurt glanced down, noticing the time. "1am? How long were we asleep for?"

"Um, maybe like three hours? I kind of lost track of time once we got back to the room."

Kurt threw himself back against the pillows and sighed. "I am never going to sleep tonight. You know this is all your fault?"

Blaine took a second to focus his attention away from his phone and onto Kurt. "My fault? How is it my fault?"

"You were warm and comfortable." Kurt moved to his side and looped his arm around Blaine's to cuddle up next to him. Blaine gave Kurt a smile, but was obviously still distracted by his phone.

"Who has your attention because it's definitely not me."

"Hmm? Oh, yea.. I'm sorry. I'm almost done. I'll explain everything in a second."

The time it took for Blaine to finish was agonizing. Kurt was worried. There was something wrong and of course it had to be because of him. Maybe Blaine's ex boyfriend contacted him or that boy from the party. Kurt suddenly realized how stupid he was being. _Trust him._

Blaine finally set his phone down and laid down to face Kurt. Blaine sighed, obviously troubled by something. "That was Lisa. She texted me because she thinks Jessica is going to talk to my dad. I guess she's really upset that we didn't get back together." Kurt could see the concern in Blaine's face and he felt so incredibly selfish that it he had worried it was about him.

"Jessica doesn't know about us though, does she?"

"No, she doesn't, but she does know about that guy from the party. I don't know what I'll do if she tells him. I don't know what he'll do. I don't want to lose my family or school or...you. I can't believe she'd do this to me."

Kurt wanted nothing more than to make everything better, but he didn't know where to start. He could talk to Jessica, but she might get suspicious. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and pulled him in tight. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't even know if there is anything I can do. Lisa is going to try to talk some sense into her." Suddenly Blaine's voice filled with emotion. "Just don't leave me, Kurt."

Kurt was getting anxious waiting for Blaine. He tried to make good use of his time alone by reading ahead for his classes, but the words on the page seemed more like a foreign language. After the fourth attempt at reading the first paragraph of his history book, Kurt heard Blaine's key in the door. He wanted to jump up and hug him and ask him how everything went, but he decided it would be best to give Blaine some space.

Blaine walked in, dropped his stuff on his desk chair, and threw himself on his bed with a sigh. "I don't know how I ever dated her."

"I assume that means it didn't go well then?"

"I convinced her to not talk to my dad." There was something off about Blaine's voice though. He didn't seem happy about the news like Kurt assumed he would be.

Kurt sat up to face Blaine. "That's what you wanted though, right?"

"It is, but I lied to her just like I have been lying my entire life." Blaine threw his hands up in the air and pulled at his hair. Kurt felt that was his cue to put his book on the desk and join Blaine on his bed.

"But you don't have to lie forever", he said, playing with the curls on Blaine's head. "We'll figure something out."

"No, Kurt. You don't understand. My entire life was a lie when I was with Luke. It was exhausting, but I lied because it kept me safe. Now I just want to be honest with myself and the world. I feel like I'm finally in a place where I can do that, but I something has to get in the way. I love you and I want the world to know."

Kurt suddenly tensed up. He had never seen Blaine angry before and did he just say love? What do you say to that?

"I-" He barely got out one syllable before Blaine sat up to face him. "Shit. I'm sorry, Kurt. I don't mean to take my anger and frustration out on you. You don't deserve it. This is all my fault. And god, I'm just being really selfish right now. I don't even know how you feel about coming out. If you're not ready I understand. I won't push it."

Kurt could barely focus on the words that were coming out of Blaine's mouth. _Love. He said love right? He loves me?_

"Blaine."

"Yes?"

"Did you say love?"

Blaine broke eye contact with Kurt. He had been so flustered, but he was suddenly calm, at least until he began talking again. "I- uh, yea, I did. It's not exactly the way that I wanted to tell you. And you know you don't have to say it back. I mean, not unless you mean it. I just don't want you to feel pressured to say it back just because I said it, you know?"

Kurt smiled. "Blaine?"

"What?"

"Stop talking." Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's face and pulled him in for a kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

In order to help Blaine keep his mind off of Jessica they decided to spend the rest of the night watching their favorite movies. That was the benefit of the first week of the semester, no homework and no projects meant nothing to distract them from each other. This was their first chance to be a real couple. Kurt tried his best to focus on the movie, but he was distracted by the man lying next to him. He couldn't keep his hands or his eyes off of him.

Blaine finally noticed that he was being watched. "What?"

Kurt responded shyly, "Nothing..." Trailing off before continuing. "Well actually, I don't think I want to watch movies anymore"

"Yea? And what would you like to do instead?"

Kurt climbed on top of Blaine, pinning him to the bed. "You."

"Me?" Blaine pretended to be confused, but his coy smile gave it away.

"I thought we could switch it up this time. You know.." Kurt flashed a charming smile and raised an eyebrow, hoping that Blaine would get the hint.

Blaine grinned. "Kurt, I don't bottom."

Kurt sat up immediately, the playful smile disappearing from his face, but Blaine quickly grabbed his hands and pulled him back down. "I'm just kidding." Blaine laughed and Kurt playfully struggled to pull away before giving in to Blaine's kiss. As soon as their lips met, Kurt was consumed by all of the emotions he was feeling for Blaine. Did he love him? So soon? He was still unsure, but he did know that, in this moment, he wanted Blaine in every way possible. He pushed his hips down to meet Blaine's and kissed him deeper than before. When Blaine's hands moved underneath his shirt, making contact with his bare skin, he felt his stomach do flips. How could he do this with just one touch?

Kurt pulled away just long enough for him to pull his shirt over his head and remove Blaine's shirt as well. When Blaine reached up to run his hands along Kurt's chest he quickly grabbed Blaine's hands and pinned them back down. He could tell that Blaine loved being dominated in this way, but Kurt soon realized he desperately needed to feel Blaine's touch.

Once Kurt let go, Blaine's hands instantly moved to the buckle of Kurt's jeans. Kurt could feel himself getting harder at the very thought of what Blaine's hands would do to him. When Blaine slid his hand underneath the fabric Kurt arched his back and moaned into his kiss. Blaine wrapped his hand around Kurt's cock and slowly began to work it up and down. Kurt knew that he wouldn't last much longer this way so he reached down to stop Blaine's hand. Blaine looked concerned when he met Kurt's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"We need to get your pants off." Blaine laughed as Kurt climbed off of him to search Blaine's side table for condoms and lube. When Kurt returned Blaine was laying in just his boxer briefs. Kurt could see the outline of Blaine's erection pressing at the fabric around his waist. Kurt couldn't help, but be in awe of the incredibly sexy man waiting for him. This was not part of the future he envisioned for himself, but he liked the sudden change. Kurt went to push his jeans to the floor when Blaine sat up. "Let me help you with that."

Blaine moved to the edge of the bed and Kurt walked forward to stand in front of him. Blaine pushed Kurt's pants to the floor slowly, taking in every inch of skin that was revealed. He placed his hands on Kurt's hips and moved in closer, moving his mouth along the outline of Kurt's cock. Kurt thought he was going to come the instant Blaine's mouth made contact with the tip of his cock. Blaine kept his eyes on Kurt's the entire time, enjoying the reactions that showed on Kurt's face. He pulled back with a mischievous smile and pushed Kurt's underwear down to the floor, leaving Kurt naked in front of him. Kurt still felt vulnerable when he was completely naked in front of Blaine, but he was beginning to get used to it. It helped that Blaine looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Blaine reached for the condom in Kurt's hands, tore the package open, and rolled it over Kurt's erection. In what seemed to be one quick motion, Blaine pulled off his underwear and laid back on the bed, waiting for Kurt to join him. Kurt climbed onto the bed and positioned himself between Blaine's legs. Blaine grabbed the bottle of lube, adding some more to the condom before putting some on himself. Kurt leaned down, placed a kiss on Blaine's lips, and whispered, "I'm sorry if I don't last too long."

"Don't worry about that. It's my fault for teasing you like I did." Blaine pressed his head against Kurt's and stared into his eyes. "I love you."

Those words again. This time they weren't wrapped in a run-on sentence. They stood alone, waiting for a response. If Kurt said it back he didn't want to do it during the heat of the moment like this. He wanted to be rational about these things. Maybe that's part of the reason he refused to have sex with Blaine when they were drunk. Kurt felt a pang in his chest when he didn't respond to Blaine's "I love you" and he hoped that Blaine wasn't hurt by the silence.

Kurt pressed one last kiss against his lips before slowly guiding his cock inside Blaine. As Kurt pushed deeper, Blaine held onto Kurt's back, unintentionally digging his nails as the pressure increased. "Fuck. Kurt."

Once Kurt was completely inside Blaine he began to thrust slowly, getting used to this new incredible sensation. Once Kurt established a rhythm Blaine grabbed his own cock and tried to match his motions with the thrust of Kurt's hips. Kurt was right when he warned Blaine that he wouldn't last very long. The feeling of being inside Blaine was the greatest feeling he had ever experienced. He tried to hold on as long as possible, but he finally couldn't contain himself anymore. "I'm- I'm- I'm going to come." As Kurt's body writhed in pleasure, he could feel Blaine coming at the same time.

Kurt collapsed next to Blaine, pulling the condom off so he could tie the end and attempt to throw it at the trash can. They were still breathing heavy and Kurt could feel the exhaustion hitting him. "Please don't let me fall asleep."

Blaine moved and Kurt cuddled up next to him, so he could place his head on Blaine's chest. "Ok, I'll try. Talk to me."

"Talk to you? About what?"

"I don't know. Anything...something I don't already know about you."

Kurt was silent for a while, trying to think of something. Didn't Blaine know that the "tell me about yourself" question was the hardest to answer? Does anyone really have a good response?

"Umm.. well, my name is Kurt Hummel-"

"Nice to meet you, Kurt. Blaine." Blaine stuck out his hand and Kurt played along.

"Aren't you clever?"

"I try. Sorry, continue."

"I'm 18. I'm from Ohio. My mom died when I was little. It was just my dad and me for a while until he got married and now I have a stepmom and stepbrother. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life, but what 18 year old does? I love Italian food. I want to go to Italy one day. I thought I was straight until I met you..."

Blaine was playing with Kurt's hair, but stopped once he heard Kurt's last sentence. "I'm sorry."

Kurt propped himself up so he could look at Blaine. "For what?"

"For bringing you into this mess. For hurting you. For making you feel like I didn't care when I did..."

"Oh, Blaine. There is nothing to be sorry for. I would have probably figured it out sometime. Better now than when I'm married with four children." They both laughed and Kurt continued. "I wouldn't change anything. I love you."

The words came out of Kurt's mouth so naturally, as though they were meant for Blaine. Like he had been saying them his entire life. All of Kurt's doubts were only a result of his fear of what loving Blaine meant, opening himself up to another person and risking heartache. Dating girls never meant feelings like this and now he understood why. Blaine smiled and leaned forward to press a sweet kiss on Kurt's lips.


	8. Chapter 8

"Kurt, I'm going to do it. I'm going to be honest with my dad. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to tell him when I go home for spring break."

Kurt sat across from Blaine, completely dumbfounded. He knew that being in the closet was becoming increasingly difficult for Blaine over the past two months, but he was terrified of what would happen, not just to Blaine, but to their relationship.

"Are you sure? I mean, what if he kicks you out? Or stops paying for school? Or doesn't even let you come back? I thought you said you were going to wait so you wouldn't have to worry about those things?"

Blaine grabbed for Kurt's hand. "I know, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. I don't think I can just keep pretending. I don't want to answer questions about Jessica or explain why we haven't gotten back together. I just want to be who I am and be with you. I love you, Kurt, and I want everyone to know."

Kurt sighed. He knew that he was doing a horrible job of hiding the worry in his face, but he didn't care. He hoped that Blaine would change his mind, but this time it seemed that Blaine was completely set in his decision.

"I love you, too. I just don't want to lose you. Spring break starts in two days and then we'll be apart for ten days. That will be hard enough and now I have to worry about this. I- I just don't know."

"I'm not going anywhere, at least not permanently. We'll talk everyday, the time will fly by, and before you know it I'll be back with you, I promise. There is nothing that could keep me from you. We're made for each other, you know?."

Blaine said it with a sarcastic tone, but it was something both of them had thought about. That they were meant to be, soulmates maybe. Blaine smiled and winked at Kurt, hoping to help ease his worry. It helped for a little bit, but Kurt knew he wouldn't feel better until they both were back together after break.

On the friday before break, they decided to skip their classes and spend the day with each other instead. Their lives had become so routine at this point, it was difficult to imagine what they would do without each other. Kurt didn't want to think about what it would be like falling asleep without Blaine next to him.

"You have to give me something that smells like you."

Blaine chuckled at the idea. "And why is that?"

"Because I'm going to spend ten whole days without you. I don't want to forget what you smell like."

Blaine reached into his mostly packed bag, pulled out his favorite shirt, and sprayed some cologne over the shirt before holding it out for Kurt to take.

"Here, now you know I have a reason to come back. This is my favorite shirt. I'm going to miss it almost as much as I'll miss you." Kurt dropped the pants he was folding into his bag and walked over to Blaine. Kurt stood in front of Blaine's outstretched arm, but didn't touch the shirt.

"Put it on.", Kurt demanded.

"What? Why?"

"Because you smell like more than just cologne." Kurt moved in closer to pull off Blaine's shirt, revealing the lean muscles normally hidden underneath. Kurt bit his lip as he stared at Blaine's chest. "On second thought, maybe you should just be shirtless until we have to leave."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and pulled him close for a kiss. Kurt moved to push him back to the bed, but Blaine resisted. "Kurt, we can't. We have to pack." Blaine reached in for one last peck on Kurt's lips. "Besides, didn't you get enough last night? You barely let me sleep."

Kurt stood back, dejected. "You know I can never get enough of you."

Blaine pulled his favorite shirt over his head and went back to packing his bag. "I'm sorry, baby. We need to finish and I want to spend some time with you with our clothes on." Blaine stopped for a second to think. "Wow, I never thought I'd say that."

Kurt giggled and went back over to finish packing his bag. "Ten days! What ever will I do without you?", Kurt lamented.

"You'll see your dad and Carole and Finn and your friends from home. You'll be so busy that you'll forget that I even exist and if you do happen to remember me then there is FaceTime and text messages and skype and phone calls."

When it came time for goodbyes, Kurt found it to be impossible to let go of Blaine. Kurt wasn't sure when he became so attached. He had been perfectly okay with the upcoming break until Blaine announced his plans to tell his dad about their relationship. Kurt knew enough about Blaine's father to be worried.

They were standing in between their packed cars with their arms wrapped around each other and Kurt was nuzzling his face against Blaine's neck.

"I don't want to let go.."

"I know. I don't want to either, but we have to. I'd stay with you if I could." Blaine squeezed Kurt tight and finally pulled away. He reached up to kiss Kurt one last time. "I love you. Always. We will talk every day. Just think, as soon as we part each minute spent away will be another minute closer to being back together."

Kurt cracked a smile, "I love you, too." Blaine walked over to the driver's side of his car, blew a kiss to Kurt, and got in. Kurt sighed and did the same.

Kurt was quite proud of himself for being able to maintain composure the entire time, but once they pulled up the main intersection and Blaine drove off in the opposite direction, he completely lost it.

_**Kurt Hummel (9:27pm): **I'm home. Don't text me back if you're still driving!_

_**Blaine Anderson (10:19pm): **Yes, sir. Just getting home now. Miss you already._

_**Kurt Hummel (10:22pm): **Already? I missed you once you got in the car. Skype tonight?_

_**Blaine Anderson (10:26pm): **Umm...I'm not sure. My dad is awake and wants to catch up so I might be busy with father/son bonding time. Yay._

_**Kurt Hummel (10:27pm): **Are you going to tell him tonight then?_

_**Blaine Anderson (10:30pm):** Not planning to. I'm going to get a feel for things first. I'll tell you when I do, though._

_**Kurt Hummel (10:32pm):** Well that makes me feel better. I think I'm going to go lay down. My dad wants me to help him in the shop tomorrow. I love you._

_**Blaine Anderson (10:34pm): **I love you, too. Sweet dreams. 3_

Kurt tossed and turned for hours. It was a nice change being in a full size bed for once, but the bed felt even bigger without Blaine next to him. He missed the warmth and the comfort. He even missed the snoring, which Blaine insisted he didn't do. He tried to remember what Blaine said, that every second they were apart meant another second closer to being back together.

_**Blaine Anderson (7:57pm): **You busy? Skype?_

_**Kurt Hummel (8:00pm):** Of course! Running to my room now._

Kurt was so excited that Blaine had finally asked to skype. They had been home for two full days and this was the first time he was going to be able to talk and see Blaine at the same time. He answered the call as soon as he got to his room.

"Hi."

"Hi."

They sat in silence for a while before Blaine finally spoke. "So, I wanted to tell you this face to face."

The serious expression on Blaine's face instantly filled Kurt with anxiety.

"Okay..."

"I'm telling my dad tomorrow. We've been spending a lot of time together and it's going well so far. I think he's changed actually."

"Oh really? That makes me feel better. You have to tell me everything as soon as you can."

Kurt felt awkward and he wasn't sure why. There were very few awkward moments with Blaine. Everything came so naturally between them. This was not. Maybe it was the computer.

"Of course I will..."

"Ok, Blaine. What is this? Why is this awkward? Is it me? Did something happen? You don't seem so excited if you think your dad has changed."

Blaine looked away from the screen and Kurt could tell something was wrong.

"Well, there is kind of something else. I didn't know whether I should tell you or not. I don't want you to freak out."

"How am I supposed to not freak out when you preface it like that? Ugh, I can't make any guarantees, but I'll try."

Kurt was preparing for the worst, even though he wasn't sure what the worst meant.

"I just want you to hear me out. I promise I will tell you everything." Blaine paused, trying to find the right words. "Luke came to see me today. He's not in Texas, at least not anymore. I don't know how he knew I was back or anything. I didn't even know he was coming until he showed up at my door. Luke wanted to explain why he left me, why he abandoned me..."

Blaine choked up and Kurt stared at his computer, completely speechless and unsure of what to say or think.

"He wants me back or wanted me back...I don't know. He tried to kiss me, but I stopped him. Kurt, I promise I did. Please believe me. Please trust me because I would never _never _ do that to you. Kurt.."

Tears welled up in Blaine's eyes and they glowed in the light of the computer screen. Kurt couldn't look at him anymore. He was still speechless, but he definitely knew what he was feeling, anger. He pulled the lid of his laptop down just enough so Blaine couldn't see him. He wasn't sure what to do with these feelings besides, maybe, track down Luke and tell him to stay away from his boyfriend.

Kurt stood up and began pacing the floor while he left his laptop on the bed. He remembered how things were in the beginning. He was so apprehensive to start anything with Blaine. He was convinced it would end in heartbreak. But then, he saw an entirely different person and he fell in love with that Blaine, the one that was open and honest about everything for the first time in his life. Kurt told himself he had to trust Blaine from the very beginning and Blaine had never done anything to break that trust so why would he doubt him now?

Kurt went back to the computer, unsure if Blaine would still be on the other end. He pulled back the screen and Blaine perked up. "Kurt? Say something."

Kurt stared into Blaine's eyes. He had so many questions, but was it really worth it to know the answer? "I trust you."

A look of relief came over Blaine's face and he sighed. "I love you...so much, Kurt."

"I- um, I'm not completely okay with it. I mean, I'm angry, but I'm choosing to trust you because I love you"

"Just so you know, after I turned him down I proceeded to tell him about my incredibly intelligent and sexy boyfriend who is perfect and amazing in every way."

Kurt smiled, asking, "Oh, so there is another guy now too?"

_**Kurt Hummel (9:45am): **Good morning sunshine! Only four more days. Can't wait!_

Kurt sent his usual morning countdown text to Blaine, but there was no response. He figured Blaine was still sleeping or maybe he was out to breakfast with his dad. It had been two days since the incident with Luke and things had gone back to normal. even though Kurt's mind did wander sometimes. Because of all the drama, Blaine had decided to postpone the talk with his father. Kurt knew it was only a matter of time. Blaine was determined.

When Kurt still hadn't heard from Blaine later that afternoon, he became worried.

_**Kurt Hummel (2:19pm): **Is everything okay? I haven't heard from you. If you're busy, just let me know or something._

Five more hours passed and nothing.

_**Kurt Hummel (7:26pm): **Blaine! Please say something. I'm starting to freak out. Are you okay?_

Still nothing. Kurt didn't want to go to sleep without talking to Blaine, but he was beginning to think he had no choice. Every possible explanation was filling his head. His dad kicked him out. He ran away with Luke. He's breaking up with me. He's laying in a ditch somewhere. Each thought was more painful than the next.

_**Kurt Hummel (12:02am): **I can't stay awake anymore. If you get this, call me, no matter the time. I need to know you're okay. You're scaring me. I love you._

Three hours later, Kurt woke up to the vibration of his phone. He jumped out of bed, looking at the screen. "_**Incoming Call: Blaine Anderson" **_ He couldn't answer fast enough.

"Blaine? Blaine? Are you okay? What's going on- I've been worried sick."

"Kurt. I can't talk. I just- I'm not coming back. It's over."

Kurt could tell that Blaine had been crying. He sounded exhausted and drained. He barely had a voice. He knew Blaine didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it. A pit grew in his stomach. His fear. His greatest fear was coming true.

"What? No. What is going on? Just talk to me."

"I can't."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by the sound of the dial tone.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day Kurt woke up in a haze. His eyes were puffy and soft from crying the night before. He didn't even remember falling asleep. Suddenly the memories of the night before flooded back to him, but he was convinced it was a dream. He reached for his phone to find no new message. He pulled up the call history and found the reminder: a phone call from Blaine at three in the morning, barely a minute long. Kurt dropped his phone and threw his hands over his face. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He pulled the covers over his head and wished for sleep.

Three days later Kurt returned to campus alone. He had tried to call Blaine several times, but each call went straight to voicemail. Even the familiar sound of Blaine's voice was replaced by an automated recording listing the number he had dialed. When Kurt opened the door to his room, _their_ room, Blaine's side was completely empty. Kurt dropped his bags to the floor and crawled onto Blaine's bare mattress. He sobbed uncontrollably, unsure if the emptiness and pain that he felt would ever go away. He thought back to their last moments in the room together. When they said their goodbyes, even though it wasn't supposed to be a goodbye.

Kurt was able to calm himself down, to stop the sobbing, but the tears still rolled down his face. The knock at the door was loud and it made Kurt jump. He pulled himself off the bed and wiped at his face, trying to get rid of the evidence of his tears.

Kurt opened the door to find his RA on the other side. "Hi! As you can tell your roommate moved out this morning. I'm not really sure of the circumstances, but he asked me to give you this." The guy held out a white envelope in his hand. Kurt took the envelope in his hands and attempted a half smile.

"Thanks. Umm, do you mind if I ask, how did he look?"

"Honestly? He looked just as upset as you do right now."

"Oh..ok, well thank you again." He attempted a smile and went to shut the door, but the boy put out his arm.

"And, just so you know...if you need anything, I'm right down the hall."

Kurt awkwardly thanked him for the third time and shut the door, eager to read Blaine's message. He returned to the tear soaked mattress and carefully opened the envelope. As Kurt pulled out the letter, he pulled it up to his face, hoping to smell Blaine, to feel close to him again. He looked at the scribbled out words in black ink and almost didn't recognize the handwriting. Blaine must have been rushed.

_Dear Kurt,_

_I'm sorry. I don't know when we will see each other again, but I promise I will tell you everything. Please know that I meant every word I said to you and I don't regret a single second I spent with you. I won't ask for your forgiveness. I won't ask you to wait for me. I hope you find someone who makes you happy._

_Love Always,_

_Blaine_

Tears began to roll down Kurt's cheeks and onto the paper, but this wasn't just sadness, it was anger too. He was angry, angry with Blaine and himself and whatever else was keeping them apart. He needed to find Blaine, but he didn't know how. He pushed himself back to sit against the wall and looked around the room, trying to think of what he could do, when he suddenly realized..._Jessica_. He instantly grabbed for his phone, thankful that he never deleted her number.

_**Kurt Hummel (1:26pm): **Hey! Have you heard from Blaine?_

_**Jessica Graham (1:32pm): **No, why would I? We haven't talked in forever. I assumed it was your job to keep track of him._

_**Kurt Hummel (1:33pm): **Do you have his address by any chance?_

_**Jessica Graham (1:37pm):** No_

_**Kurt Hummel (1:39pm): **Ok. Do you know where he lives?_

_**Jessica Graham (1:45pm): **Yes_

_**Kurt Hummel (1:48pm): **Will you tell me how to get there?_

_**Jessica Graham (1:54pm): **I don't remember, sorry._

_**Kurt Hummel (1:57pm):** Seriously, Jessica. This isn't a game. I'm really worried. I haven't talked to Blaine in three days. I think he's dropped out of school and I don't know why. I know you're upset that he didn't choose you, but you need to get over it. I need to see Blaine._

_**Jessica Graham (1:59pm): **Fine. I'll be in town soon and I'll come over when I have a chance._

It was a little after 7 o'clock by the time Kurt made it to Blaine's house. It was a cute little house that stood in the middle of a row of houses that ended in a cul-de-sac. Thankfully there were plenty of cars parked along the street so Kurt could be inconspicuous. The curtains were drawn back and the lights were on in the house, which allowed Kurt to see right in. The tv was on and he assumed the man in the chair was Blaine's father. Suddenly the gravity of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. He hadn't really thought of what he was going to do or say. He didn't even know if Blaine was going to be there. And even if he was, how was he going to get to him? He was beginning to freak out so he decided to text the only person he could talk to.

_**Kurt Hummel (7:26pm): **I'm here and I don't know what to do._

_**Jessica Graham (7:29pm):** Didn't think it through, did you?_

_**Kurt Hummel (7:31pm):** I'm not the only one who has acted irrationally because of Blaine. Seriously, any ideas?_

_**Jessica Graham (7:35pm): **Throw rocks at his window? Hold up your stereo outside his window and play "In Your Eyes"._

_**Kurt Hummel (7:36pm): **I'm serious!_

_**Jessica Graham (7:38pm): **Is Blaine there? Can you see him?_

_**Kurt Hummel (7:41pm): **I haven't seen him, but his car is here so thats a good sign, right?_

_**Jessica Graham (7:42pm):** Maybe. Just wait until his dad goes to sleep and knock on his window or something. Try not to let anyone see you though._

_**Kurt Hummel (7:44pm): **And how am I supposed to do that?_

_**Jessica Graham (7:46pm):** Hell if I know, I'm not the one trying to rescue my boyfriend._

Kurt sighed at his phone and leaned his seat back further so he could keep an eye on Blaine's bedroom window. After an hour and a half of waiting, Kurt was getting restless and even more nervous. Blaine's window had been dark the entire time and he was beginning to think that Blaine was gone. He could wait outside forever, but he would never see him again. The very thought was terrifying.

Kurt was mentally arguing with himself about what to do next when he caught the light flicker from the corner of his eye. _Blaine is here. He's here. _Kurt moved his seat up just enough so he could see more of the house.

Blaine walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. His hair was a mess and he was in his pajamas. Kurt wondered if he even bothered to get out of bed before now. Or maybe he was watching a movie and fell asleep. Blaine was seated facing the window and Kurt hoped that Blaine would notice his car, but why would Blaine think anything of it. It's not like he expected Kurt to be there anyway.

Kurt watched the two men sit in silence for a while. He would have preferred to be with Blaine, but watching him was better than nothing. It was comforting just to be near Blaine. Kurt started to notice that Blaine seemed agitated about something. Blaine was talking to his father about something and Kurt could tell just by the way Blaine held his hands together that things weren't going well. Blaine finally stood up, throwing his hands in the air and yelling something back at his father before storming out of the room. His father got up to follow him.

The front door opened and Blaine walked outside and into the street, his father yelling from the doorway behind him, "I'm not done talking to you! Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere away from you!" Blaine began walking up the middle of the road and Kurt knew this was his chance. He waited a few minutes for Blaine's father to disappear back into the house and then jumped out of the car to catch up to Blaine who was already halfway down the street.

"Blaine! Stop." Kurt tried to yell just loud enough for Blaine to hear him, but he wanted to make sure that nobody else did either.

Blaine stopped in his tracks and whipped around confused and dumbfounded. "Kurt?"

Kurt finally caught up to Blaine, wrapped his arms around him, and pulled him into a hug. He nuzzled up against the crook of Blaine's neck, taking in a deep breathe. "Blaine. I missed you so much."

Blaine didn't move, his arms still stuck to his sides. "W- What are you doing here? I mean, uh, how did you-?"

Kurt pulled away, holding onto Blaine's arms. "Jessica told me how to get to your house. I had to see you."

Blaine took a few steps back to distance himself from Kurt. "You can't be here."

Kurt searched Blaine's eyes. "Don't say that. Where else would I be?"


	10. Chapter 10

Blaine's reaction was not what Kurt had been expecting. He thought Blaine would be happy to see him, but it didn't seem that way. There was something wrong and it made Kurt nervous. He needed to find out what was going on. They decided to walk down to a park one street over from Blaine's house so they would be able to talk without Blaine's father seeing them if he went searching.

Kurt climbed onto the jungle gym normally reserved for children. He sat down on a step next to a play steering wheel, messing with it a little bit while Blaine settled next to him. Kurt wanted to reach out to put his arm around Blaine and pull him in closer, but he resisted. Blaine didn't seem to want to be touched right now anyway.

"Blaine, I want to know what is going on. What happened?' Kurt had a million other questions in his head, but he figured that would be good enough.

Blaine sighed and clasped his hands together. "My dad knows about us. I wasn't the one who told him though. I don't know if it was Jessica or Luke or if he heard us when we were talking over break. I- I just don't know, but when he confronted me about it, I didn't lie. Maybe I should have..."

"No, don't say that. I know how much it mattered to you. You needed to tell the truth no matter what. That's what you wanted."

Blaine jumped down and kicked at the mulch covered ground. "No. You don't understand. I should have lied. I should have lied because right now I'm losing everything that is important to me. School. My family. You.." Kurt was scared by the anger in Blaine's voice. He had never seen him like this before.

Kurt watched as Blaine paced on the ground. "Blaine, you still have me. Even if we have to be apart, I'm not going anywhere."

Blaine scoffed. "You don't understand."

"Well, make me understand then! Why are you taking this out on me? I didn't do anything. I haven't seen or talked to you in almost four days. I had no idea what was going on until right now! So tell me what I don't understand!" Kurt's anger took him by surprise. Was this their first fight?

Blaine stopped in his tracks. "I'm moving to New York." The news felt like a punch to the stomach. Three hours was one thing, but Blaine was going to be in another state completely. "My brother has an apartment in Queens and he said I could stay with him until I get things figured out. He's going to come pick me up this weekend."

Kurt stared at Blaine as the tears welled in his eyes. He quickly turned his head so he could wipe them away, hoping Blaine wouldn't notice, but he did. Blaine climbed back onto the step to sit next to Kurt.

"Hey, don't cry. Please, Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to take this all out on you." Blaine placed his hand underneath Kurt's chin and tilted his face up to meet his. "Please." Kurt finally gave in and looked at Blaine as the tears streamed down his face.

"Oh Kurt, please don't cry." Blaine held Kurt's face in his hands and leaned in to kiss him, but it only made Kurt cry more.

"I have to get away from my dad and this is the only way. It will be a good thing for us. I won't be able to talk to you if I'm here."

Blaine pulled Kurt closer, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. Kurt held on tight, breathing Blaine in as he tried to control his emotions.

"I thought you would come back with me. I was so stupid."

Blaine moved to pull back, but Kurt refused. "You're not stupid. Don't say that. I wish I could come back with you, but I can't. New York is the only place I can go right now."

Kurt pulled away, wiping away the tears on his face, as Blaine's hands rested on Kurt's hips. It felt nice to be so close to Blaine again, but the feelings were bittersweet.

"So you'll be in New York and I'll be here. What does that mean for us?"

"Kurt-"

"You meant it, didn't you? When you said we were over. I was convinced you didn't, but you did."

"No, that's not it. It's not what I want. When I called you that night I didn't know what was going to happen or where I was going to go. I didn't want to just disappear and leave you holding on. I love you, Kurt. I want to be with you, but not like this. I can't be the boyfriend you need right now."

"Well, thanks for deciding that for me. It's late. I should go back. I don't want to miss my classes tomorrow." Kurt jumped down and began walking towards the direction of Blaine's house. It was a bullshit excuse and Kurt knew it. He didn't want to leave, but it hurt too much to stay.

"Kurt, wait! Stop!" Blaine caught up to Kurt, stopping in front of him. "I don't know when I'll see you again. I don't want you to leave like this."

The realization of Blaine's words calmly settled over Kurt as he relaxed into Blaine's arms.

"Blaine- I, I don't want to leave."

"I know. I don't want you to go either. But it's not goodbye. Once I get to New York we will talk all the time and the first thing I'll do is pay for your train ticket. We'll be okay."

Kurt placed a kiss to Blaine's neck before putting space between them. "I hope so."


	11. Chapter 11

A loud noise jolted Kurt awake. He looked down to see a head full of dark curls lying next to him. It wasn't Blaine. He didn't know who it was actually. _Shit._ Kurt heard the noise again, but this time he knew exactly where it was coming from. _Shit!_ Kurt jumped up, pushing at the boy next to him.

"Hey! Get up! My dad is here. You need to go lay in the other bed."

The boy let out a muffled "hmmm?" as he rolled out of Kurt's bed and into the perfectly made one on the other side of the room. Kurt picked up last night's shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor and pulled it over his head. He kicked the rest of the clothes under the bed before running to the door. Kurt carefully pulled open the door just far enough so he could block the entrance with his body.

"Blaine?"

He greeted Kurt with a big playful smile. "Hello, stranger."

For a second Kurt forgot how to breathe. He hadn't seen Blaine in over two months and he was still gorgeous as ever. Kurt wanted nothing more than to pull Blaine into the room with him, but he couldn't. He felt awful.

"Hi.. Umm, what are you doing here?"

"I missed you. I know we haven't really talked in a while and I'm sorry. I've been so busy working and school applications all over again, you know? I finally got a few days off work and I just said 'fuck it!' and drove here."

_Haven't talked in a while?_ Kurt hadn't talked to Blaine in over a month, save for a few random texts here and there. It wasn't really something that happened on purpose. Kurt learned that keeping himself busy made the pain of missing Blaine easier to ignore. It wasn't all Kurt's fault though. A friendship goes both ways.

Blaine continued, "I thought I could stay with you here for a few days, maybe help you pack and move everything home. When is your last final?"

"It was yesterday actually. My dad is coming today to pack up most of my stuff. I thought you were him."

"Oh, sorry to disappoint you."

Kurt smiled and nodded, continuing to block the doorway as silence took over and Kurt mentally debated what he should do next. Blaine probably wouldn't be interested in meeting his friend from the night before.

Blaine raised an eyebrow and said, "Well are you going to let me in? Do you have a boy in there or something?", with a slight laugh. Kurt stared back without saying a word and watched the smile fade from Blaine's face.

"Blaine-"

"No, it's fine. Really. I should have said something. I'll go." Blaine quickly turned for the exit, but Kurt reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Blaine! It's not what you think. Just, please, don't go. Give me 20 minutes."

"Fine."

"Meet me at our coffee shop?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Kurt walked in, eyes searching for Blaine, but his attention was immediately drawn to the barista calling out his name. Kurt grabbed his coffee and made a mental note to compliment Blaine on his timing. He found Blaine sitting at a small table in the back of the room, focused on a newspaper.

"Thanks for the coffee. Right on time, too", Kurt said as he pulled out the chair to sit.

Blaine looked up, surprised for a second until he realized the voice belonged to Kurt. "Oh, yea. No problem. I figured I still owed you from the last time we were here." And just like that, Blaine's head was back down, refocusing his attention to the paper. Kurt played along, cautiously drinking the hot coffee, and admiring the boy sitting across from him.

After a few minutes, Blaine folded up the paper and began fidgeting with the almost empty cup. Kurt could tell he was searching for words. "I'm sorry I interrupted you with your boyfriend this morning. I should have called."

"Blaine, he's not my boyfriend. He's not even my friend. A random hookup fueled by alcohol and loneliness. I don't even know his name." Kurt spoke like it was a joke, trying to hide the embarrassment of his admission.

"Oh? And does this happen a lot?"

There was something about Blaine's comment that bothered Kurt. He suddenly felt defensive.

"You know, I don't think I should have to explain myself. You're not my boyfriend, it shouldn't matter who I mess around with or how often. I'm free to be with anyone I want, remember? _You _said that when you left for New York"

Kurt was proud of himself and it helped to relieve some of the shame he was feeling about his actions. He knew he shouldn't feel bad, but he still did and the look in Blaine's eyes wasn't helping either. Kurt reached out to take Blaine's hand in his.

Kurt sighed, "Blaine, this was the first time and nothing really happened. I was drunk and he was cute and he was giving me all this attention. It was easy. We kissed and that was it. I didn't let it go any further. God! You have no idea how much I miss you every day. We haven't talked in so long. I figured you found someone else or you didn't want me anymore. And now you're here like nothing has changed and I just- I don't understand."

The last few words catch in Kurt's throat as he's suddenly overwhelmed with feelings he's tried to hard to forget.

"I want you to come live with me in New York." The words flew from Blaine's mouth, rushed.

"What?"

"For the summer...or permanently...or whatever you want. I miss you, Kurt. More than I thought possible. Everywhere I go, everything I do, I think of you and I want you with me. I thought talking to you less would help make it easier, but it didn't. God, I must sound like Ryan Gosling from 'The Notebook'."

Kurt let out a slight laugh at the reference, but returned to the seriousness of the conversation. "Blaine, I don't know what to say."

"I know. I know. You don't have to decide right now. Just consider it, okay?"

"Okay."


End file.
